The odds are that someone here shares your deepest, dirtiest desires.
Trying to work out how commonplace your kinkiest sexual fantasies are can be a tricky balancing act. One minute you’re feeling anxious that the new kinky thing you want to try is just too weird that you simply daren’t mention it to anyone, the next, you have doubts that anyone would not find you kink a real turn on because it’s so hot. If this sounds like you, good news: Our research has found that even your kinkiest fantasy is probably not as weird as you might think.
Some background: We surveyed adult sexting partners to find out what unusual or rare fantasies they have or they have come across when sexting with others. To do this, we undertook a pretty comprehensive survey of over 1,000 service users—first, we asked them to rank 55 different sexual fantasies, and then describe one favourite fantasy in detail. From there, we rated each fantasy as rare (if 3% or less of respondents had the fantasy), unusual (if 15% or less shared it), common (more than 50% shared it), or typical (if more than 80% shared it).
It should be noted that these results were self-reported by participants, so it’s possible that some of the respondents were swayed by social norms or that the participants who chose to respond to the survey were more sexually open in the first place. With that in mind, check out these intriguing findings:
8 Amazing Facts About Sexual Fantasies…
1) Rare Fantasies Are, Well, Rare
Out of the 55 fantasies on our list, only two were found to be statistically rare for women or men—and those fantasies were having sex with an animal or a young child (both illegal in reality and rightly so). We found nine more to be statistically unusual (including fantasies involving urination, cross-dressing, rape, or abuse). But the majority of fantasies presented were fairly common—from group sex to sex with strangers. So that fantasy you worry about bringing up because it is weird is probably shared by many others.
2) Most Fantasies Are Far More Common than You Think
Here’s a taste of the fantasies that were shared by over a third of the men and women who responded: Having sex in a public place, having sex with a complete stranger, having sex with someone much older/or younger, being tied up/tying someone else up, being masturbated or being forced to masturbate by a stranger, being dominated or dominating someone else, watching two women have sex, to name but a few. The takeaway from all this: share your deepest sexual fantasies with your sexting partners because chances are pretty high that they share the same fantasies as you.
3) Men and Women Have the Same Sexual Fantasies…
When it comes to sexual fantasies, both men and women have them – although there are some differences in popularity between the sexes. For instance, watching two women have sex is higher on the male list than the women’s list. The interesting fact to come out of this research is that both sexes had similar fantasies to each over, generally, although the order of popularity was slightly different for some fantasies whilst other fantasies were very common between both men and women, for example, sex with a stranger and domination etc. When it came down to describing their favourite fantasy in the qualitative section there was nothing to choose between the male and female respondents.
4) Some Common Male Fantasies Might Shock You
A considerable number of men fantasize about receiving anal sex from a woman wearing a strap-on, fantasize about watching their spouse have sex with a stranger, and some even confessed to fantasizing about engaging in sex with transwomen.
5) Many Women Fantasize About Being Dominated
Being sexually dominated (64%), being tied up (52%), being spanked/whipped (36%), and being forced to have sex (29%) were all popular fantasies of the female respondents. But before you think submission is a girls-only fantasy, men were actually more likely to fantasize about being spanked or whipped (40%) and being forced into having sex (30%).
6) Submission and Domination Fantasies Are Not Limited to One or the Other
Men and women who reported submission fantasies were also liable to have the equivalent domination fantasy—for instance, they were just as likely to want to be tied up during sex as they were to want to tie their partner up. Say goodbye to the accepted view that you have to be either dominant or submissive in bed.
7) Women Seem More Likely to Separate Fact from Fantasy
Although many women expressed an interest in submission fantasies, just about half of them specified that they would not, in fact, want to carry them out in real life. This difference between sexual fantasy and sexual wishes was more common in women than in men. Seems like women prefer to leave more to their imagination.
8) It’s Not Odd for Heterosexual Men and Women to Have Same-Sex Fantasies
It is common knowledge that many straight women often enjoy watching lesbian porn, and now it turns out that more than a third of women have fantasized about giving cunnilingus, having sex with two women, and watching two women having sex—and this is from a pool of women where less than 20% considered themselves either bisexual or gay. Interestingly, some 90% of the male respondents identified themselves as straight men, yet roughly 25% of them fantasized about giving fellatio, and 20% admitted to fantasizing about having sex with another man. So, now you know it’s a pretty blank sheet 😉
Author of 8 Amazing Facts About Sexual Fantasies: XxxSexContacts