Luckily, our headboard sexpert, Emma Valasco, is here to offer her take on the number one sex tip for men.
Sex from a male standpoint can often be more complex than it really has to be. It’s very easy to over think sex, to over-analyse your partner’s expectations and your own ability (or inability) to perform.
It’s important to bear in mind that sex should be fun for both parties. It’s one of life’s simplest yet best pleasures, but still, we persist stressing out about it.
One of the main challenges for men is remembering that not all partners like the same thing; of course they don’t! With one partner you may be a stud, and with another, you could be the greatest anti-climax she has ever known.
There is, however, one trick that I firmly believe should work with just about any partner – and it’s all about the build-up.
Foreplay is the key to being good in bed. It’s very easy to rush sex and get carried away, but if you really want to go to the next level, you have to be patient, you have to be selfless, and you have to create that unbearable (but seriously incredible) build-up.
Using food as an analogy, foreplay is the entrée, with intercourse/making love being the main course. But as with eating, lots of people like to skip the starter. Now that might be okay for food, but skipping foreplay is rarely a good idea for sex. The right foreplay can send a woman from zero to maxing out on her horniness-scale.
In your head, you should be thinking this entire sexual experience is for them as well, not just yourself. Until you know that they’re enjoying themselves, your needs don’t matter, and when it comes to creating that all important build-up, you have to ease into it.
Have you ever gone to kiss someone, but casually pulled away at the last second and just let your lips hover near theirs? It makes them want to kiss you more than ever before. Everyone tends to want what they can’t have, so, don’t go all out too quickly.
Obviously, all sex should be consensual but your partner has to want it, I mean really want it, and that’s what creating a build-up can do. It creates that sense of ‘this has to happen right now!’.
Tease your partner with little kisses here and there, a gentle bite of the lip, and slowly work your way down, paying attention to all the key areas (and not just the erogenous zones). These moments should be sensual and controlled; don’t be like a dog with a bone.
Always pay attention to your partner’s reactions – what are they liking? What do they not like? Even more importantly, you have to be a very good judge of when the foreplay should stop and the intercourse should begin (if that’s part of your sexual journey, of course).
If all goes well, there should be a very natural moment when neither of you can resist each other any longer. Things should progress only when this point is reached. Ideally, though, this key moment should be initiated by your partner – you wouldn’t want to stop doing something they love, after all!
As I mentioned, remember that no two partners are the same. Don’t be scared to talk about what your partner likes and doesn’t like, that kind of knowledge will ultimately make you a far better lover.
If you can get the balance right between the build-up and the sex itself, it should make for a truly memorable experience with seriously heightened levels of pleasure.
Of course, sex is about more than one person. However, when the question is ‘How do I become amazing in bed?’ Being unselfish will always be my answer.
Emma says:
You should never be scared to introduce props to the bedroom – after all, if it makes the experience even better, why would you not?
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