Anal Sex: 14 Anal Foreplay Tips for Beginners
By the XXX Anal Sex girls
So you’re not ready for full-on anal sex. Well, here are some warm-up exercises you might want to try.
While there are no real anal sex revelations to unveil here, there is one nasty but important thing to get brutally honest about: The first time you have a finger stuck up your bum; it feels like you have had a finger stuck up your bum. What did you think it would feel like?
The first five, 10, perhaps 20 times, it feels like you have a finger in your arse. But at some point, if all goes well, it will feel like you have a finger in your arse accompanied by a massive orgasm. It’s hard to tell quite how it will go because everybody’s not the same, and that goes for each anal-fingering individual’s skill. “Unfortunately, there are lots of women who have a really bad first-time anal experience and never want to go there again, because some guy shoved his penis up her anus without first preparing her for what was about to happen,” according to Christina Ried, an anal sex sexpert.
If you’re dating a sexually anal-centric guy, rather than a breast, leg or foot guy, he’ll want you to enjoy penetrative anal sex with him. Which, depending on your disposition, might be good or bad? But you must never, ever do anything you’re not happy with just because your partner wants you to, and if you’re not ready for full-on anal sex, say so. It’s your body!
But (BUTT! Ugh, sorry), if you want to try-out some light anal play, here are some things to know about Base Camp 1, which consists of the stepping stones to full-on anal sex: Fingers (anal fingering) and tongue (rimming, salad tossing, analingus).
1) Anal sex should never be painful. This is where lube comes in. It might feel like you need to go to the toilet. You don’t! (I hope you don’t.) “Try to relax your anal muscles, and breathe naturally,” advises Christina. “And use loads of a water-based lubricant.”
2) Insert one of your own fingers first just to get a sense of what it feels like. Trying anal foreplay out on your own means you are in full control and won’t be surprised what is happening. It won’t be quite the same when a partner does it, but at least it’s a way for you to feel-out if you’re into the whole anal-sensation thing.
3) Anal sex is an example of when shower or bathtub sex can be an advantage. As a rule, shower sex is never easy to pull off. But because relaxation is so important, experimenting with some soft anal play while in the shower where you are likely to feel calm and looser can only be a good thing. Plus, any concerns about cleanliness (which shouldn’t be an issue, but maybe an understandable worry), will be eased because you are in the shower.
4) Start small. The aim of anal play is to keep it simple before working your way up. “To prepare your bottom for sex play, start with fingers, tongue, or a small sex toy intended to be inserted into the anus,” says Christina Reid. “An alternative is to purchase a Butt Plug Kit that uses different plugs, of varying sizes which are intended for this type of anal training.”
5) The person doing the inserting (assuming it’s not you) needs to err on the shallow side. Anything that goes in should be the tip only. The nerve endings you’re trying to stimulate are in the anus — hence the moniker ‘rimming’ — and not all the way up there, which is commonly the painful part and also the part that makes you feel like you need to take a huge dump. Imagine it like a netball hoop; the ball should roll around the rim. Does that make sense? I’ve never actually played netball!
6) There shouldn’t be any quick-fire action straight away. Ramming fingers into any part of the human body should never happen. “So much of sex tends to fast — particularly in porn — but anal play has to be prepped for… it needs to be slow, considered and consensual,” says Reid.
7) Not all anal stuff has to be done doggy style. It may be harder to make eye-contact going when a face-to-anus things is going on. But! There are other positions you might want to try, such as lying on your back with your hips lifted, or try sitting on his face in reverse cowgirl mode. The best advice is to move around until you find a position that makes you feel most comfortable.
8) Good communication between you both is the most important thing – this applies to any sex but particularly anal sex. The only way to know what works and what doesn’t is to be completely open with your partner about what they’re doing. Christina Reid stresses the significance of always being focused on how the other person is feeling and being vocal about your preferences.
9) Anal sex, contrary to what some people may believe, is not a dirty sex act. As Christina Reid says, the anus and lower part of the rectum have very little waste material in them, which means that anal play and anal sex are not as messy as many might imagine.
10) That said, you can completely clean things up. The key to anal play is comfort, so do whatever you need to help with any lingering worry. “Using an anal douche is not risky if only done once in awhile and might help you loosen up any concern you may have about your bowels,” advises Christina. You might also think about using something as simple as warm water for a quick clean too.
11) Anal sex feels best when there’s some extra stimulus going on. Vaginal, clitoral, nipple-centric — whichever feels best for you. While some women only need anal play à la carte, most women can’t come from anal stimulation alone. “The anal part is something that’s an accent. It adds to the overall experience,” says Christina. By the way, women who have had anal sex tell how they orgasm more often than those who haven’t. That said…
12) Make sure your partner doesn’t use the same finger in your vagina! Why do you think The Shocker exists? Necessity is the mother of invention. “Baby wipes should be mandatory after each entry,” says Reid.
13) If you try anal play/anal sex and it’s not for you, don’t keep trying it because you think it’ll eventually be all right. “Assuming you have a considerate lover who’s invested in you feeling good, I think you’d know within the first five times whether you like it or not,” says Reid, clearing up that this depends on a variety of factors. “I’ve encountered women who hated receiving oral sex initially but love it now, and it was because they were self-conscious. It depends on your levels of inhibition, your feelings about your partner, and your feelings about your body. If all these things are good to go, but you simply don’t like the feeling if gave you, then you will know fairly quickly.”
14) You don’t need to get a wax. “Most women don’t get Brazilians simply to engage in anal foreplay,” says Reid.
In conclusion, “Helen,” a user of XXX Sex Contacts I found while trying to gather more seasoned anal wisdom for you guys, says: “if you are feeling very good with your patner [sic] and you know him or her very well, I think it’s a very lovely situation.”
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