Older women wanting younger men. The inside track:
There’s been a massive amount of media reporting focussed on older women and their attraction to dating younger men over recent years. But what’s really going on beneath all the cougar hype?
To find out, we set out on a mission to look past the hype surrounding older woman/younger man relationships. Why is it still such a thrilling subject and what are the perks (and pitfalls) of getting into sexual encounters where age knows no bounds?
And, of course, if you are a mature woman who finds herself drawn to the younger man or if you’re a man who would like to have sex with a woman the same age as your mother, why wait to meet that special someone? Join us today.
SEE FOR YOURSELF: Older women wanting younger guys. ( Sandra )
Debunking ‘Cougardom’
It’s been eight years since Newsweek notably announced 2009 as the year of the cougar. The now well-known term wasn’t a reference to the Chinese calendar; rather, it was a bordering-on-crass saying coined to classify 40-plus women with a penchant for younger sex partners.
Although the US-based magazine’s rational that the cougar-craze was a trend fated for cultural oblivion, the editorial offered up a fascinating justification for the newfound popularity of older woman-younger man relationships.
According to the article, the principal driving force that brought cougars in from the wilds was Hollywood. Indeed, shows like Sex in the City paint a more stylish picture of mature woman’s sexuality.
On the other hand, the aptly-named Cougar Town bolsters a smuttier stereotype. For instance Courtney Cox did a cool job in Friends by transforming her character into an ill-fated, sex-obsessed divorcee who comes across as a mash-up of both Mrs. Robinson and Bridget Jones.
SEE FOR YOURSELF: Older women wanting younger men.
Demi Moore’s marriage to Ashton Kutcher generated much media excitement and further media coverage of Sandra Bullock, Madonna and Mariah Carey’s liaisons with younger guys has been served up as providing additional proof.
Yet, it seems wrong to merely explain away the huge rise in older women dating younger men by skimming off examples from LA’s passionate glitterati. What’s more, the way in which news outlets around the world, Newsweek included, represented the issue is perhaps more telling of the way older women are perceived by society.
Older women wanting younger men.
The very word cougar is most definitely moot. Without getting too intertwined in semantics, we could point out that prejudices have a tendency to stick, even if society is changing. Calling an older woman a cougar is a way of defining her as a predator who’s only interested in hunting down younger prey.
For a helpful contrast you can consider looking at a corresponding term for older men who hook up with younger women. Whilst still packed with hidden meaning, sugar daddy isn’t as critical as its big-cat opposite number. Instead it’s a witty reaffirmation of man’s customary role as father-figure and provider of material wealth (and woman’s role as recipient).
The reality for older women dating younger men
As soon as cougardom exploded into society certain groups became more and more engrossed in researching age-dissimilar relationships in which mature women were dating younger men. Driven by the shift in the demographics of contemporary female/male associations, sociologists set about investigating the reality of older women having secret liaisons, steamy affairs and illicit encounters with men much younger than themselves.
SEE FOR YOURSELF: Older women wanting younger men.
Significant age differences in woman-older relationships defy previously held norms of our society. Yet mature women being attracted to younger men (or toyboys) is definitely not a new thing.
In the UK older women are regularly exposed to stricter scrutiny when it comes to preferring sexual partners younger than themselves. For many women, getting older means a degrading route to slow and steady sexual disqualification, whereas society is much more liberal about aging men. In truth, more than a few people are still taken aback to see an older woman with a younger man – thinking to themselves ‘she is old enough to be his mother’ or ‘he is young enough to be her son’.
Yet not all see the mature woman/younger man scenario as a cradle-snatching issue when it comes to older women dating younger men. Our own research suggests that something like 16 percent of sexually active women between 40 and 55 have slept with a man at least 7 years their junior.
Indeed middle aged women (married and divorced) are more likely to seek a younger man for sex.
Importantly, our survey disproved the rich white-cougar stereotype by revealing that many older women come from varied ethnic backgrounds and differing social-class groups. So, given that women from all walks of life are immune to social criticism and are ready and willing to bed youthful males, it begs the question; what’s the appeal?
Young man!
You don’t need to be too imaginative to picture what the benefits of an older woman/younger man sexual relationship may be. But if you’re struggling for ideas, there’s a host of blogs and websites that bear witness to the plus sides for both women and men.
For FREDA one of the biggest attractions has a lot to do with the chemistry. When I look for a younger sex partner I do so knowing I very comfortable with my body and sexuality. I’ve been married and done the kids thing which means I’m on the same page as younger guys who aren’t looking for or interested in anything other than NSA sex.
SEE FOR YOURSELF: Older women wanting younger men.
Understandably perhaps, having a younger guy in a mature woman’s life can be a breath of fresh air as it enables older women to regain a bit of youthfulness and feel sexually desired. Vigorous sex aside, a young admirer is likely to be a welcome substitute to the more vintage male, particularly in the impulsiveness department.
Young guys don’t tend to have the emotional baggage that comes with older men. A word of warning for mature women: watch out for arrogant boys who want to have sex with you just so then can brag about it to their mates. It is important that both parties are on the same page – for instance if a woman wants commitment and the guy is just a ‘player’ it can lead to disappointment and even distress. Compatibility is, therefore, key.
For young guys who aren’t in it for self-esteem or bragging rights, they will quickly discover that dating an older woman carries mutual benefits. That’s right, younger guys benefit too. Under the guidance of a more mature sex partner, a young man will learn a lot about how to pleasure women physically.
The time old adage ‘age is just a number’ couldn’t be more fitting for older women dating younger men to bear in mind.
Wasn’t it Coco Channel who said a woman can be stunning at thirty, appealing at forty, and mouth-wateringly desirable for the rest of her life. Or something like that!
SEE FOR YOURSELF: Older women wanting younger men.
From no-strings sex to feeling judged, cougars reveal what it’s REALLY like to date younger men