Sex Fantasies
What if I could give you a magic pill that could make you a sexual god or goddess in the bedroom?
If I could give you a magic pill, I would.
But sadly, these magic pills just don’t exist. Here’s why…
Getting better at sex takes effort and experience; it’s as simple as that. It’s like learning how to speak a foreign language or how to drive a car.
There is no ‘magic pill’ technique that takes only 5 seconds to learn and works perfectly every time. Instead, you have to put in the effort.
But once you get the hang of the basics, you can rapidly progress and become incredible at sex, very quickly.
The purpose of this blog is to get you ‘up to speed’ as fast as possible when it comes to pleasing your partner in the bedroom and getting better at sex. In other words, I am going to teach you…
How To Get Good At Sex, The Fast Way…
The thing is, getting good at sex requires 2 people…
“Well DUH, Emma”, I can hear you say.
Okay, so obviously sex involves 2 people, but…
Both parties need to be in the same state of mind if you are to both enjoy it. Being in the same state of mind is vital to good sex.
The key to both being in the same state of mind and the key to both of you enjoying it is…
Good Communication
Now, I am not talking about sitting down with a therapist and trying to ‘connect’.
Hell no!
What I mean is that you both need to communicate exactly what it is you want, sexually. When couples do this they often find out that they both even have similar sex fantasies… Or you may discover that you both enjoy a certain position during sex… Or you’ll learn something very simple that your partner doesn’t like.
When you hear me speak about improving ‘communication’, you may think I sound like a therapist.
I am not a therapist
And I’m not some girl with a PhD in communication who has spent most of my life in a lab coat ‘studying how humans interact’, then writing detailed reports that have little relevance to the real world.
I’m just a normal girl who enjoys sex. More importantly, I’m a girl who enjoys teaching others how to get better at sex. And over the last 10 years I have been doing just that.
So like I was saying, you need to communicate effectively in order to fully fulfill each other sexually. To communicate effectively with your sex partner, you need to do 2 things.
You need to find out what he or she likes and wants in the bedroom
You need to make your sex partner receptive and enthusiastic about what you want.
Knowing their wants, likes and desires in the bedroom is vital. Once you know them, you’ll literally have the golden key to keeping him or her sexually attracted to you.
So you are probably wondering how you can get them to open up. How can you get him or her to tell you their sexual wants, desires and fantasies, so that you can go about fulfilling them?
There are a few different techniques that you can use to do this.
The first thing that you need to do is realise that a lot of men and women feel awkward, shy or nervous when it comes to talking about their sex fantasies. In fact, they will usually be more shy about this than you!
Here are the 3 things that you need to focus on to get them to open up.
Attitude
To get him or her to open up you need to be non-judgemental and encouraging. If you laugh or snigger, it’s highly unlikely that they will ever open up.
Setting
It is always a good idea to set the scene first. The idea is to try and get them feeling relaxed and tension free. This is the first step to getting them open to talking about what they like, enjoy and want sexually.
The Approach
How you approach talking about what he or she would like in the bedroom takes a little courage, but it’s totally worth it.
You need to use, what I like to call the ‘Go First’ method. It’s a simple psychological technique where you first talk about what you like before getting them to open up about what they like.
It works because it shows them that you are relaxed and non-judgemental when it comes to talking about kinky sex, fetish sex and sex fantasies.
Getting Them To Open Up
Here is my 5 step process that you can use to get him or her to open up.
- Start off by telling them how much you would enjoy being part of their sexual fantasy, whatever it is. They’ll enjoy hearing it.
- Next you need to move onto talking about trying new things. You could throw in some of your sex fantasies for good measure!
Imagine this process like building a wall. You build it one brick at a time. Start off with something small and then build up to more intense things.
It could be something as small and inconsequential as saying, ‘I really like doggy style sex’ or ‘I prefer being on top’ or “I would love to be dominated.’
- Then ask them what they like.
9 times out of 10, they will tell you what they like and want. But if they doesn’t, then you can say something like, ‘I bet you like it when you’re on top don’t you?’ or ‘I bet you like a woman on her knees, giving you a blow job? This will make it easier for him or her as all they have to say is ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
- Next you need to push the boat out a little and say that you fantasize about trying something a little more exciting and intense like ‘I would love to dress up in something super-sexy for you’ or ‘I’d love to feel totally dominated’ or ‘I have a fantasy about having anal sex.’
Most men will be thrilled to hear these things
- Next, it’s time to ask if there is anything they’d like to do with you…. or to you.
Note: You could keep saying that you’d like to try more new things for hours and hours, but it’s more effective to slowly build momentum over a number of contact sessions to a point where you are both incredibly comfortable talking about all of your sex fantasies together.
And there you have it. This guide has shown you how to find out exactly what your sex contact wants when it comes to sex.
Now that you know this, it’s really important to explore more and more extreme sex fantasies so you can constantly keep things spicy!
Good luck,
Gemma Keys