How to turn Sexting into real sex
Posted by: Kerry, 34, find me in the northeast region
Sexting is great, but if you’re like all other red-blooded males, you’re ultimately going to fancy turning it into real sex.
Sexting’ is one of those expressions you’re already familiar with. Not least of all since you’re wondering how to move from sexting to having real sex. Sexting by itself isn’t a bad way to spend your time—particularly if it happens to be with Lucy Mecklenburgh—but let’s face it, that’s not going to happen, so here’s your step-by-step guide to moving from sexting to real sex.
- Start Slow
Yes, there truly are guys who are going to jump straight in and send a girl a dick pic right off the bat. You don’t want to be that guy. It’s not that we don’t imagine your impressive meat sabre isn’t exciting enough to merit her consideration; it’s just that she’s more into you than the size of your cock. So slow down there, Tiger. She’ll want to see it ultimately. Instead, begin with casual flirting and good-humoured teasing, just like if you were chatting in a bar.
- Push the Envelope
This may seem to challenge the last point, but it’s all about weighing the scales. It’s up to you to slowly but surely turn up the heat. You do that by pushing her margins a little, bit by bit. Don’t be frightened to be edgy. You aren’t talking with your mother; you’re trying to get sizzling hot with the girl you’re into. Feel free to use jokes and innuendo’s to push your way into the good stuff, and bear in mind: in this situation, it’s always better to ask for forgiveness than consent.
- Adjust to Her Reactions
Of course, pushing the envelope doesn’t mean being a total prick. You want to boost the height of eroticism and closeness without making her feel uncomfortable. If she seems to be a little put off, back off a little. You don’t have to stop entirely, just dial down the intensity a notch or two. Think two steps forward, one step back. If she continues to appear uncomfortable, then it’s time to take a break. Alternately, if you drop an implication that can be interpreted as innocent or dirty, and she takes it the dirty route, go with it, young man.
- Be Careful with Pics
Not to sound like your high school health teacher, but keep in mind that in the digital age, pictures can spread like wildfire. No matter how proud you are of all that time spent at the gym, you almost certainly don’t want to be on creepymen.com (we just bought the url!). If your lady is exhibiting signs of being a crazy bitch, absolutely do not send her a picture… of anything. If you must, at least leave your face out of it.
- Walk the Talk
You should certainly not promise anything in a sext session that you can’t deliver in real life. Sincerity counts, because if you’re bull shitting her, she’s going to find out in the end. Feel free to be really graphic, as you’re only working with words—no vocal tonality, eye contact or hand motions. Women can be just as dirty as guys, but they normally also want a man with a mind. In other words, scintillatingly intelligent dirty talk will blow her mind.
- Make It Happen
That said sexting can be a step above self-pleasuring. You want to get her doing the real thing. If you two are distant geographically, you’re just going to have to bring this thing to its rational finale and hope she’s interested later. But if you’re in the same city, it’s time to steer the conversation toward your, um, male needs. Frame it in terms of feeling lonely rather than getting off. Then offer to go to her. Asking her to come to you isn’t so cool, since no lady likes to feel like a prostitute. At least not on the first date.